Friday, November 26, 2010
Finding ME Again....
the past few weeks were somewhat enlightening. It seems as if time was revealing something that was already there right in front of me (actually instead of "revealing" I was thinking more of "slapping")--the answers to my long asked question. Time is indeed an ally....
I've finally decided to move on--from all the frustrations that made me lose confidence in myself. For years I've become somewhat a stranger to myself. It is only recently that I realized how I became a totally different person than who I was back then. It was true that pretending too much that you are someone (which I did to fit in the place I was in and please someone) will really make you that type of person ('till now--I realized how much I have degraded myself in the process). I needed to go back to who I was to correct my mistakes and to fully grow. It may take some time but at present all I can do is make a step.
sadness was filling me up all these years. Maybe that was the reason why I never had any suitors (at least sane ones). I always ended up attracting the wrong sorts of guys (I mean those who thought they can get the chance to prove their manhood through having "dinner and breakfast"--the "and" part was what I was worried about).
My brother (Jay) was right--if I want to catch the guy (with the qualities I was praying for), then I better start by making myself the girl that would equal him... God will give me someone perfect for me and in time He will...but I have to do my part and not just pray...
I was lonely though never alone but honestly changing my self back and better than before wasn't due to me not having that "someone"... It's all about loving myself. I realized that by being happy and loving me more then I may attract a lot of great things in life.
I need to move on from being broken...
...move on from being a kid...
Everything does happen for a reason...and this one is for me to learn that God made each of us special--and we should be grateful about it...
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